Dump And Change, But Mostly Dump
by hockeyfanmaddy
Summary: A series of "scat-fic" one-shots, dealing with several different NHL teams, going through several different, yet oddly unique scenarios. And yes, because this is a series, there will be more chapters up soon, just whenever I have the time. Rated M for details.
1. Crosby Tries A Diaper

Sid slid on a nice, thick, adult Pamper. Evgeni and Phil watched him make a B.M. like no other. Sid tapped his diaper and pulled it down a tad.

 _crinkle*_ "Here it comes, boys!" Crosby squatted and grunted.

"Hnng! Unf! * _Sharp exhale*"_ _"Mmm. Tasty, tasty dump!",_ he proclaimed.

A prolonged fart came along, abruptly interrupted by another long, thick log. You can't see it, but the poor diaper's suffering! HELP IT!!

"Woah. That's big!" Murray said, pointing to the lumpy, brown, struggling-to-keep-it-all-in diaper. He cupped his hand to the mess, to feel an unnecessarily warm lump.

"Eww. Feels weird and gross! Euck!"

Malkin,on the other hand, mashed up the diaper to Crosby's butt, and shuddered in lust as he watched the waste ooze out from the sides and onto the locker room floor.

 _smack!* *plop!*_ "Mm. I can smell what you ate, Sid.", He stuck his nose in some mess.

"* _sniff*_ You really need to lay off them nachos, Sid. They really can hurt your gentle hole, what with the jalapenos and all."

"I eat what I want to eat, Geno!"

"If you say that's true, then _I'll_ eat what _I_ want to eat!"

"What would that be?"

"Your natural, fresh, warm, Crosby-Chocolate." He scooped up some poo that fell on the cement floor, and took a lick.

"Mmm. Tastes sweet. Are you sure you haven't eaten those nachos lately,because this doesn't taste spicy at all... _yet._ "

"What is your problem, Geno?!", Murray objected. "Please, just stop!"

" _Mmm.",_ Evgeni faced his crap-covered mouth to Matt. " _I wonder what a goalie's poo tastes,like.",_ He snuck over to Matt, cornering him.

"Ah! Geno,you're scaring meee-no! _Don't!"_

Evgeni pulled on a thin, flexible latex glove.

" _I've_ _been saving this glove all my career for this. Originally, I wanted to use it on Fleury, but because he's gone, I guess it's just me and you. Now, take your clothes off, Matty."_

 _"Matty?"_

 _"NOW!"_

Matt could not disobey his teammate, nor could he hide his embarrassment. Once he ws stripped of everything but his briefs, Malkin shook his head.

"No. Absolutely not. _All_ of it."

"Ugh. Why!"

Malkin was now facing a naked Matt Murray.

"I love that long dick of yours. But for now, I just need to _clean you out._ "

"No, no, _noooooo!"_

Malkin cornered Murray to the point he had nowhere to go.He wet his gloved hand as his makeshift lube, and reached in Matt's tight, Canadian asshole. Matt jolted and exclaimed in shock.

"Mmm,feels like you really _do_ need this cleaning! Good thing _I'm_ _here."_ Geno searched Matt some more.

"Gee, Matt! When was the last time you went?!"

Matt grunted out, " _Tuesday."_ It was already Friday (3 days)!

Malkin pulled out a whole, warm, hardening log from Matt's ass and watched it fall onto the floor with a firm, muted thud.

"Wow, _damnnnn_ , what a piece!" Malkin sniffed the waste log. It smelled like deep espresso, but then hinted to remnants of high end restaurant food.Some undigested corn, some vegetable seeds here and there.Malkin couldn't help but think that one could pack this much into his colon, let alone 3 days of it!

"Is there any more?"

"* _shudders*_ Yep."

Murray's hole opened once again, setting free a smaller, more nugget-like poop.

"Yuck. You done yet, Geno?"

"Let me see, hmm." Malkin searched Murray's anus one more time. "Yep, you're cleaned."

"Can we end this _now?"_

"Have you forgotten the whole idea about _why_ I was doing this, Matty?"

Matt has a flashback to what Malkin said when he put the glove on.

 _I wonder what a goalie's poo tastes like..._

Matt gulped down a hard lump in his throat. Of course Malkin wasn't done. He had to torture Murray _even more._

"I've been waiting here for over 15 minutes with a shitty diaper! Don't you think I should change myself now!", Crosby objected.

"I have a better idea, Sid. You clean yourself up, and I'll share some _Murray_ chocolate with you."

Crosby removed his messy diaper, scrubbed off his disgusting dried waste off his ass, and pulled on decent clothes so that all he was in was a pair of boxers.

"Here. You have the smallest one, I'll have the biggest one.", Malkin handed him the tiny bit of crap, and he began to lick the first, snake-like log. Crosby disagreed highly.

"No! Shouldn't _I_ have the bigger one? _I_ had to shit in a diaper that _I_ didn't need to mess in the first place! I- **oomph!"**

Malkin shoved the piece of crap into Crosby's mouth. Sid chewed up the goalie-processed meal.

"How is it?"

"Mm. It smells like sewer gas, but tastes like a sweetened mud!"

"Mine tastes like a very flavorless chocolate."

In the distance:

 _"Euggh! What is that smell?!"_

Their coach, Mike was about to come in.

"Quick! stuff it down your face!"

Sid shoved the log down Malkin's throat, gagging him. Sid tied up the garbage bag that had Sid's diaper and his glove in it, rinsed out their mouths so that the smell was gone, and took the garbage to the dumpster as soon as Mike came in.

"The garbage, that's what smelled. I just found out."

"Oh, Ok then."

When he got back, Crosby just told him that Mike had to come over to update the team on the new uniforms. He didn't say anything of the sort about their, "incident". Now, being that they were the only ones left, and that dilemma was solved, they decided to leave for the night, for there was gonna be an _early_ practice tomorrow!

 **AN: Yes, I know its gross.Expect that for future chapters, but with different teams and/or scenarios.**


	2. Flyers Guano

**AN: This one has a little background. Beong that the Philly Flyers are called the _Flyers,_ why don't the players have wings? #falseadvertising Anyways, I wrote a fanfic where the Flyers have wings, literally _fly_ , and do a little something _extra_ that birds do...**After a game that the Flyers won against the Pens, 4-3 in overtime, it was a celebratory ritual for Claude and his fellow Flyers to...um, "drop liquid pucks" on Pens fans, even their cars!

Meanwhile, Claude was giving high- 5's to the team in the locker room.

"Well fellas, we won. You know the drill."

"Oh, _yes_. Why did you think I ate a _whole_ cheesteak, laced with that powdered fiber stuff just now?!" ,Michael Raffl announced. With that, the team flew out, one by one, out of an open window some 20ft off the ground, and each one of the ones willing to go through with this, perched above their targets.

Claude over a black, luxury sedan (preferably an Audi), Michael R. over 2 millenial girls, sitting on a bench, one in a Geno jersey, one in a Crosby jersey,

Jakub Vorácek over another car, this time a white recent model Camaro,

Sean Couturier over a Red Ram-looking truck from last year,

and Jordan Weal over a pile of Pens merch that pessimistic fans piled up.

Now, it was time for the "release". Claude gave his group of teammates a signal that looked like his hand waving off his ass. He counted down from three.

"One," they looked straightforward and gripped onto their pirches as tight as they could.

" _Two,"_ the flyers lifted their rumps in the air slightly.

" **Three!"**

Wastewater Flyer guano rained upon their targets. The human targets were heard as screaming Pens fans, and _thunks_ and _squirts_ of the poop landing on the cars.

"Wow, bull's eye!" Claude claimed, looking down on the Audi's hood, now having a green splat right smack in the middle of it.

"How'd you guys do?"

"I think my work speaks for itself.", Michael paused to hear the innocent, now pooped-on pens girls.

"Missed.", said Jakub, pointing to the pile of crap _inches away_ from the Camaro's left headlight.

"Got 'em on the 'shield!" Sean exclaimed proudly.

" _Wow._ You're lucky. Mine got the sidewalk. The god. Damn. SIDEWALK!!11"

"Well done, boys, well done. As you know, the Pens just barely snuck into the playoff bracket, but _we_ clenched it! So there will be plenty more where _that_ came from for the next week or so!" Claude announced before flying back through that same window that led to the Flyers locker room, the others following him.

 **AN: I know it's short. I just wanted to get this one off my chest, so I have both a Penguins, _and_ a Flyers story to keep you busy for now.**


End file.
